A Coloring Book

Dear Sara,

Today I bought you a coloring book.  (kind of ridiculous I know)  I was wandering through Walgreens, buying cards and looking at their clearance aisle.  I happened to see this flower mosaic coloring book, complete with a set of colored pencils, and I couldn't help myself.  I immediately picked it up thinking, "Sara would love this!'  It was exactly the kind of coloring book you loved when you were recovering from chemo.  We bought several from Amazon, which you liked and used, but none of those were as perfect as this one.  As I flipped through the pages I saw hearts, flowers, owls, and intricate designs of all sizes and shapes.  It reminded me of all the zentangle designs you used to draw.  I reluctantly put it back on the shelf, thinking, "Heidi and Kari don't have time to color. . . . and the grandkids are too young for this."  But I couldn't walk away without it.  So I bought it.  I came home and put it in the dresser with so many other things that remind me of you.  When the time is right I will get it out, and your sisters and I will color with your nieces and nephews while we tell them stories of their Aunt Sara.

I am realizing that I can now talk about you without my eyes filling up with tears.  I know that I don't have to worry about you.  I know where you are.  I know you are safe and happy. I know you are free from pain and fear.  I know you are rejoicing in the presence of the Lord.  I am thankful for all those things.  I just miss you.

Love you so much, Mom