2012

I've always loved the start of a new year. I love to clean things out, re-organize, and make lists of projects or things I want to get done.  This year feels very different.  I am having a hard time getting into any of those things, and if I let my thoughts go where they want to, I would rather just have time stand still for awhile.  It just seems wrong to think of time moving ahead without Sara here.  I suppose it is rather selfish to continue to feel that way, but there is the truth of it.

We were so very blessed to spend time with our children this past week.  Sam & Kimberly, Kari & Brett & little Wyatt, and Heidi & Brady are all joy to our hearts, and we are so thankful for them, and for the homes they have made together.  Our time with them was sweet.  I just wish I knew how to manage the pain of one missing.  I feel like that pain is always like an elephant in the room.  (Sara would be SO MAD if she thought I was calling her an elephant in the room, so I have to clarify - it is not Sara. . . but the sorrow of her not being there with us. . . we just miss her)  We don't want to dwell on that, but somehow we have to figure out how to acknowledge it, in a way we can all handle.  That is a challenge - guess it will be for awhile.  And time marches on, regardless, so 2012, here we come.