Seasons

Lately I keep waiting to write, thinking that maybe I'll write about something other than Sara.  Truth be told, when I'm not busy with work, church, or other responsibilities, she is what is on my mind.  Last night I couldn't sleep, so I pulled everything out of my cedar chest to find the big manilla envelope full of letters, cards, and notes that all my kids have written to me over the years. There are some from elementary school, clear up through college days and beyond.  Some are quite funny, others are heart-warming, all made me cry.  It all seems like another lifetime ago.  Even though it has been five months since Sara's death, it still seems so hard to believe that her life here on earth is over.

Woody concluded his series of sermons on Philippians 4 today, ending with Sara's life verse, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength".  It made me think a bit about the seasons of Sara's life.  Right now, I just divide it into two, before cancer and after cancer.  I remember one time when Sam was in college and Sara was still in high school, that Sam said, "Mom, Sara just isn't going to make it. She's too happy and easy-going.  She just doesn't know what real life is like!"  Sara ALWAYS was cheerful and easy-going.  She was able to maintain that even through her battle with cancer.  When the going got tough, she  displayed a strength that we never realized she had.  She reminded herself (and us) constantly that her strength was only in trusting her Lord.  

I have two willow creek angels on my bookshelf that make me think of Sara's two seasons of life.  The "before cancer" angel is fair and blond and holding a lapful of pale pink flowers in her dress.  The "after-cancer" angel has brown curly hair and holds a lapful of bright yellow sunflowers.  They are both beautiful, but it struck me yesterday that the "after-cancer" angel is somehow more distinct and vibrant in color.  I like that word, "vibrant".  Sara was always beautiful, but I believe that after her cancer diagnosis she became even more beautiful - yes, vibrant (pulsing with energy) - that was the strength of Christ in her!