Surrender

I wonder if we ever totally surrender these selfish wills of ours (speaking personally here), or if we play a constant give and take with the Lord until He takes us home.  Like. . . the spirit is willing but the flesh is so weak. 

March 3, 2011. . . Sara wrote. . . . "Lord, again I'm trusting You as best as I can, and I know You have a plan for my life that far surpasses anything I could ever imagine, but please Lord, heal me of this cancer. I'm not sure how long I have, and I'm not sure if this is a selfish thing to say or not, but there is just so much that I still want to do, including sharing my story of all the amazing things You've done and continue to do in my life.  Please Lord, help me to be content and just trust in You and Your plan for my life.  I need You so badly.  It's hard to feel like I'm just sitting and waiting, not really knowing what comes next or what's going to happen in the next couple of months, or even weeks. I am reminded that I need to cast all my cares on You Lord, but right now that's alot easier said than done.  Please just keep reminding me throughout the rest of the day that I'm inYour hands, and as long as I keep looking to You and putting my trust in You, I have absolutely nothing to fear. Thank You Lord for the amazing people You've surrounded me with, and all  the blessings You've given me.  I love You Lord, and please help me to show that love to others.  Amen."

I often come to my blog and think I want to write, but then I just sit here.  Or, I write something, and then delete it all.  As I  keep reading over Sara's journal entries from the last three months of her life, I believe her words are much better than any of my own.  Maybe it also does a bit of fulfilling her desire of "sharing her story, and all the amazing things Jesus did in her life".