I had a dear friend this morning at church tell me that she was praying for me to be "surprised by joy". What a blessing. I have a hard time believing I will truly feel joy again. Sometimes I have a hard time thinking I want to feel joy again. I have a hard time praying because I feel like my thoughts are always in such a jumble. There are times I feel okay, and there are times when sadness just wells up so intensely that I can hardly stand it. But I like that phrase, and that thought. . . ."surprised by joy".
And so here I am. . . . we made it through Christmas Eve and Christmas Day without Sara. It was hard, and it didn't feel like Christmas, but the truth of Christmas, and the HOPE of Christmas IS.
And here are the joys that I was "surprised" with. . . . . .
. . . talking to all of our kids on the phone, multiple times
. . . beautiful music
. . . loving friends and church family
. . . talking to my mom and my brother, and Woody's family
. . . taking a Christmas tree to Sara's grave with her dear friends Kristin and Lisa
. . . Woody and I snacking all weekend - and not cooking
. . . arriving in Salem tonight and Wyatt was still up and awake
. . . looking forward to the week ahead, and more joys to come
I love reading your posts. You go through the same feelings and thoughts that I experience. Many times your ideas make me think and appreciate what I do have left here on earth. Thank you for being such a positive role model.
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